So just like Troy, I went through a roller coaster of emotions the past couple of days. (SO. MANY. FEELS.)
But the moment I changed my question from "Whyyyyyyyy?" (yes, it was that prolonged) to "What are You teaching me here?", He immediately answered:
"I'm giving you all these emotions because I need you to learn how to control them. Not the other way around."
I was reminded that faith does not depend on what we feel. It depends on what we believe. Being filled with the Spirit is not something you wait to feel. It's something you have to believe.
We never pray for spiritual "feelings". It's always been about asking for spiritual wisdom, genuine faith, a clear conscience and a pure heart.
Feelings can't be trusted, sure. But it helps to know that while God allows negative emotions, He does this so we can check our hearts.
And His Word is full of promises. For this, He led me to Ephesians 1:11 - "Because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God… for He chose us in advance, and He makes everything work out according to His plan."
Today, my quiet time prayer for you is Paul's prayer for spiritual wisdom and growth:
"I ask God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
to give you spiritual wisdom and insight
so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.
I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light
so that you can understand the confident hope
he has given to those he called—
his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.
I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness
of God’s power for us who believe him.
This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead
and seated him in the place of honor
at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.
I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources
he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.
Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him.
Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.
And may you have the power to understand,
as all God’s people should,
and how deep his love is.
May you experience the love of Christ,
though it is too great to understand fully.
Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life
and power that comes from God."
- Ephesians 1:15-20 / Ephesians 3:16-19
All glory to Him! Have a blessed day, you. :)