Why 2013 has been the best year of my life... so far. :)

Half of 2013 wasn't the easiest of times for me. I had work-life balance, sure... if work-life balance meant "life equals work". I got that down pat. I hardly had time for my family, let alone myself. I felt guilty when I fell asleep unplanned because that meant less time to do my job. I was also in a pseudo-relationship that weighed me down, down, down. In other words, exaggeration and quarter life crisis aside, it was the most tired I'd felt in my life.

I especially felt that weight one Sunday afternoon before I went to mass. I remember it quite clearly. I was in the car and the rain was pouring down hard. My friend, knowing my situation, asked me over the phone how I was. And I just felt everything right down to the very core. I was tired. And I honestly didn't know where my life was headed. I was lost. The fact that I knew I was blessed with a job, a family, a car, and so many more things made it all the more difficult for me to understand why I was still feeling so helpless. I felt so ungrateful.

But that was the very same week of August 25 AKA the day that changed my life. I'd just signed up for a retreat, thinking it was just a reason for me to do something not work-related. And something that would take my mind off Mr. Pseudo Relationship. Little did I know that I would find something more. Which coincidentally was the name of the retreat (Something More). Come to think of it, it wasn't a coincidence. It was all in His plan.

On August 25, I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. And it's been the best decision I've ever made in my life. Being a Catholic and growing up in a Catholic school, I thought I had already made that decision. But I realized all the things I knew about Him was all in my head. It took 30 years for that same knowledge to travel all the way down to my heart and to my whole being. I didn't know that having a personal relationship with God was possible. And necessary.

He'll really speak to you and reach out to you in a way that's unique to you. To me, it was music. One of the songs that was performed during the retreat was Falling Slowly, one of my favorites. I had never heard it sung as a Christian song, but there it was. Spot on. Needless to say, I was caught from then moving forward. I learned how to be closer to Him. How to pray to Him. How to just allow myself to be loved by Him. And I can't even begin to explain how amazing His love is.

If I wrote all the miracles that happened day after day after day after I entered a personal relationship with God, I wouldn't have enough space or time. And it's only been 4 months. But in a nutshell, I was finally able to achieve work-life balance (the real one), Mr. Pseudo Relationship and I are now friends - in the real sense of the word (it got even better because we were able to connect on a spiritual level after all this), I'm going through all this with my best friend at my side, I met 5 amazing and beautiful ladies during the retreat whom I love and am learning from and getting love and support from, and every time someone asks me how I am, I just say I'm happy - and actually mean it.

I've already written 6 paragraphs and I know I haven't even begun to capture the least bit of how miraculous my journey has been so far. I just know that this feeling, this belief, this journey is something I'd want for everyone. It's an amazing, amazing experience that'll only get better and better because He is at the helm of it all. It's not going to be easy, it's not going to be challenge-less, but I know that when I encounter those challenges, I won't be alone. I'll never be alone. And I know He wants me to be happy. All I had to do was say yes to Him. To accept Him. That's all I needed to do. That's all He wants. Just receive Him, and I promise you, He'll do amazing things in your life too.

I'll probably write another entry about this soon, because my goodness, I've left out a lot. But if you're reading this, and you want to know about this awesome journey or if you want to go through it yourself, or if you just want to talk, please please please don't even hesitate to tell me. Let's meet up over coffee. I'll be more than happy. And I promise you, it won't be a preachy kind of talk. Haha. I promise you too, it'll be full of love. And joy.

Oh that's one more thing I love about being in a relationship with God. It's so full of love. That's one common thing you'll see in people who've accepted Him into their lives. They're so full of love. And I love love! Heck, I'm a hopeless (hopeful?) romantic. And God isn't the God of love. He IS love. How amazing is that? So anyway, again, if you want to know more, let me know okay? :)

Whatever 2014 brings, I'm counting it all as joy, because I know that whatever happens, it's in His plan. And if something happens that I don't understand (and I know there will be), I can rest assured in the fact that I know the WHO behind it. So the WHY can always wait.

My wish for you, dear friend, is for you to discover this wonderful, unexplainable experience. It doesn't matter where you are, what you've done, or if you were like me and think you don't have the time. If you find yourself lost, unexplainably unhappy, guilty, or whatever negative feeling there is, imagine that there's Someone who will gladly make it all go away. And that Someone CAN make it all go away. Each and every time.

Have a happy and hopeful New Year, everyone! :)

The Dilemma Caused by Glenn Frey

The song that started it all.

Driving home one day, switching from station to station and this song's unmistakable intro comes on. Now, I've always been bothered by the lyrics of this song. Let me show you why.

Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you,
Or are you going back to the one you love?

Okay so let's assume there are three parties involved:

1. The confused Girl.  
2. Lover AKA the one who loves Girl
3. Lovee AKA the one Girl loves

We assume again that Lovee does not love ze girlaloo. Because if he did, then the answer should be pretty clear and we wouldn't be having this conversation - nor would this song exist.  

But therein lies the perplexity. Okay, okay cause then it goes:

Someone's gonna cry when they learn they've lost you,

Someone's gonna thank the stars above.

Okay let's look at it from the only two probabilities - keeping in mind that:

      (a) Lover LOVES the girl, Girl not so much. 

      (b) Lovee doesn't love Girl but Girl does (after all, he's the guy who "left her crying" and "made her
            blue". Yes, I went through the entire lyrics in pursuit of enlightenment.)

Scenario A: Girl chooses Lovee AKA the one she loves, but doesn't love her back

Lover's gonna cry when he learns he lost you --- Of course. 

Lovee's gonna thank the stars above --- Okay now why would Lovee do this if Girl chose him, when he doesn't love Girl anyway? -> Dilemma #1

Alright, let's switch things around.

Scenario B: Girl chooses Lover AKA the one who loves her (she, not so much)

Lovee's gonna cry when he learns he lost you --- See Dilemma #1. -> Dilemma #2

Lover's gonna thank the stars above --- Sure.

So there. Glenn Frey, you got some 'splainin to do. 

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Yes, I don't blog for a little close to a year and this is what I choose to write first. Hello again, blogosphere. Ah missed chu. :)

I know that they're writings on the wall.

Listening to this for months on end

Candy - Paolo Nutini

+

a phone, GarageBand, and a Sunday night

=

Candy (Paolo Nutini Cover) - Jennie Jo

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby Sparks: Let it never be said, the romance is dead.

I had a feeling I was going to fall in love.

A few seconds in, I knew it was something incredibly special. I wanted to pace myself, not be into it too much, afraid that I might be disappointed.

Magic realism, wit, quirk, humor. Love. Hopeful and hopeless. It was all that I wanted and so much more.

In the end, I was in tears, overwhelmingly in love. One of the best feelings in the world. 

"I don't need to make sense of this."

The Perks of Being a Hopeless Romantic

On the downside, it hurts. Like HELL. Somehow, it all seems more unbearable, confusing, devastating. 

Seems.

SEEMS.

See, the good thing about being a hopeless romantic is that our hearts are more resilient than usual. Sure, we hurt the most. But then we bounce back just a little bit faster, too. 

At least I'd like to think so. :)

Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz is not something that develops over time. It is something that happens instantaneously. It courses through you like the water of a river after a storm, filling you and emptying you all at once. You feel it throughout your body, in your hands, in your heart, in your stomach, in your skin… Have you ever felt this way about someone? If you have to think about it, you have not felt it. Of course, everyone does eventually, you just never know when, or where. - HIMYM, S08E01

I'd like to think my Lebenslangerasdfjklh is still out there. I mean, I know he is. And this could be our song right now:

James Morrison - Get to You

Oh, that's right. Hopeless romantics are the cheesiest, too. ♥