This is probably the most accurate diagram of stepping out of one's comfort zone that I've ever seen. (Are there others? I don't know.)
Just because you've stepped out of it doesn't mean the magic happens right away. There's a whole lotta space going on outside that small circle, see? And who the heck knows if I'm stepping towards the right direction with all that space? Did I just use "I" instead of "you"? Why yes, yes I did.
I feel like I'm somewhere in that whole lotta space going on between the two circles. I don't even know where exactly. Every weekend literally feels like I'm coming up for air. And every time I feel like singing "Nobody said it was ea-seeehhh..." ♫ Yup. Just that line.
The moment the echo-y guitar plucking comes in at the very beginning, I get all giddy, stop whatever it is I'm doing, and try to soak it all in.
The vocals, the beat, the melody of the seemingly floating instruments -- everything just reminds me of being happy. So happy in fact that it sometimes makes me fast forward to my future wedding. You know those onsite-Jason-Magbanua-style-videos that they make? I imagine that this would be the perfect OST for that. (DIBS!)
Aside from imaginary weddings, this song is perfect for late-night/early-morning drives which I absolutely luuurve. It is a MUST for me to have that perfect song on that perfect drive... to feel infinite. (If you know where that came from, let's be friends.)
"A moment, a love, a dream, a laugh, a kiss, a cry, our rights, our wrongs, a moment on..." ♫
P.S. You can find Jason Magbanua wedding videos HERE. I try to watch them in doses. As I am a sucker for weddings, I go all Coldplay when I watch them. (Coldplay = every teardrop is a waterfall. Heh.)
Have you ever had one of those days when you just don't understand why certain things are happening (or not happening for that matter)? Days when you can't seem to fathom the relevance of certain events? Yes, (yes,) and yes.
When these days happen, I hardly ever lash out or blow up. I try to bite my tongue. I try to keep my kewl. I try to look on the bright side. Sometimes, though, I think, what's the point? Why should I put all this effort into keeping quiet when it would be sooooo much easier to just release the Kraken... of emotions. (Heh.)
Because of this, I have chosen to adopt a new mindset. Whenever frustrations start building up and I feel the question, "What the hell...?" about to escape from my lips, I think of this picture ---
When a person acts unnecessarily bitchy/mean to me, and I choose to be the bigger person... wax on.
When someone gets on my nerves, and I bite my tongue from saying bad things about/to them... wax off.
When a reckless driver disrespectfully swerves in front of me and cuts me off, and I don't swear or give him/her the finger... wax on.
When I realize that I'm past a quarter of a century but am still going through a quarter life crisis, and I don't break down... wax off.
I want to believe that all these -- the frustrations, the pointlessness of some events, the patience-testers -- are all going to play a part in a grand future event when I can utilize all these skills, skills that I didn't even know I was developing. They are just preparing me for something bigger in the future -- some situation, event, job, or person that I wouldn't think I'd be able to face or handle, when suddenly...
I'll be ready for you, bigass badass future event that'll probably try to sweep my leg.
The thing that's the most dangerous is to not do anything. That's the worst possible thing you can do.
Three weeks ago, I attempted to make one of my dreams come true. It's a long shot, sure, but I'm hoping I hit it right on the money. All I had to do was to put a little something together, submit it, and see what happens. I put it off for the longest time for two main reasons -- I didn't think I'd make it and I didn't want to feel the pain of being rejected. AGAIN. I've attempted to do this in the past, you see. Back then, I was a little insecure (and a little embarrassed, to be honest with you, to be attempting to do something like that) that even if I was thisclose to getting the job, I didn't even share that almost good news with anyone because I did not want to deal with telling them I actually didn't get it (in case I didn't.) And THAT, methinks, contributed to why I didn't get it. Get it?
You can just incorporate more of what you love into your everyday. And it makes the biggest difference in the world.
It's been two years since that debacle. Again, I found myself thinking about what the heck I was doing with my life and where this was all going career-wise. After asking myself what I really wanted to do, I ended up with the same answer. (Even if I thought I had accepted the fact that it wasn't meant to be.) So, I filled up on positive vibes, pushed out all the negativity and the doubts, and decided to give the lemons one more squeeze.
If you've had an idea... If there's something you've always wanted to do. Now is the time to do it. Even if you think you don't have what it takes to do it. JUST DO IT.
That's exactly how I felt and that's exactly what I did. You see, I've always believed that in ten or twenty years, I'll probably regret the things that I didn't do more than the things that I did do. (Yes, I read that on a notebook cover somewhere.) But more importantly, I ACTUALLY WANT THIS TO HAPPEN. Universe, I really want this to happen.
Sometimes, there are things you love to do that you forget about. So put your energy in the things that you love. Put all the energy that you can into those things and see what happens.
For now, that's all I can really do anyway --- see what happens. That and hope I actually make some good lemonade this time around.
---
All quotes are from the documentary, Lemonade, which was created by Eric Proulx and directed by Marc Colucci. If you don't know what to do with your life, I suggest you start by watching this film.
Disclaimer: I have nothing against the band, Imago. I just don't like this song very much, that's all. If you do, I suggest you skip to my next blog post. Heee.
After 3 whole months, I finally post Day 2 of this meme. Zorreh.
Okay, like I said, I have nothing against the band, Imago. (I actually like their songs, some of which are part of my Red Box/Music Zone repertoire.) But there's just something about this song that makes me cringe. Not just. It makes me want to pull my hair out. It's not the lyrics. I'm not even sure what the song is entirely about. But there's something about the melody that just makes me go...
When I hear the stanzas or anything leading up to the chorus, my face starts to twitch. When the actual chorus comes, I feel like getting extremely violent.
This song brings out such negative vibes in me that this is actually the reason why I couldn't go on to post Day 2 right away. (I'm not making an excuse, I swear!) Something about this song just rubs me the wrong way so much, I didn't want to write or even think about it. Again, it's not the band, it's the song. (Is there a difference? Yes.)
